baptême du feu

winner contact our Email (beelinedelivery_uk@hotmail.com)

2010-12-06T12:37:00.001+08:00

Dear Winner,  We have been notified to let you know about your claim of 250,000GBP. You  are to reconfirmed your personal information to US. immediately for further  action. Full Name: ,Contact Address:, Phone Number:, Age:, Sex:, Country:  contact Email: beelinedelivery_uk@hotmail.com

---------------------------- Confidencialidad: Este mensaje y sus ficheros adjuntos se dirige exclusivamente a su destinatario y puede contener información privilegiada o confidencial. Si no es vd. el destinatario indicado, queda notificado de que la utilización, divulgación y/o copia sin autorización está prohibida en virtud de la legislación vigente. Si ha recibido este mensaje por error, le rogamos que nos lo comunique inmediatamente respondiendo al mensaje y proceda a su destrucción. Disclaimer: This message and its attached files is intended exclusively for its recipients and may contain confidential information. If you received this e-mail in error you are hereby notified that any dissemination, copy or disclosure of this communication is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful. In this case, please notify us by a reply and delete this email and its contents immediately. ----------------------------

2010-10-22T16:21:00.001+08:00

I love LC.

oh my it's been a long time

2010-10-08T23:21:00.003+08:00

it's been a very long time since the last time i blogged,
was considering letting this die but what the hell,
life has been great,
vietnam has not been part of that greatness as of late,
caught a 4 day fever down there,
with fish and rice for a diet,
i'm not very happy to say but i think i lost about 5kg's just before pol/ite.
well back to singapore then,
all the hustle & bustle of the metropolitan,
but hey, i guess that's just part of life.
happy 4th month to LC,
yes, the past 4 months have been great.

onto non-personal agenda,
oh yes, very special mention to http://cypher.blogspot.com/
this is a very irresponsible way to blog or to cock/blog-block.
seriously, making use of this prevents cypher from making a
http://cyriva.blogspot.com
seriously very uncool.
can google please do something about this,
it's preventing some very, very good use of the web url.
well a 1000 word report to churn and some arrangements to be done,
get-to-it!

I'm not happy.

2010-08-26T20:46:00.001+08:00

I wonder if you know.

Do you know me?

Cause right now its so pissing to think that my girlfriend doesn't think of how I feel.

Ignorance is bliss?

No. Ignorance is stupidity.

You tell me that you don't know what makes me angry but have you thought of what would make someone angry?

It just that you don't care about the way I would feel before you say something. When you hurt me already then you say sorry. Sorry doesn't help much because the hurt is still there.

I keep quiet cause even if you say sorry, the pain lingers.

Can't you do something better?

I don't need you to be pretty all, all that fake bullshit. I don't need.

I cannot have a girlfriend who doesnt think of me first and makes me hurt all the time.

Do you have your priorities right?

Help me.

No comments

2010-08-18T23:36:00.001+08:00

I just know I need you now, though you're in hk.

I'm so tired; bruised and injured.

Don't know, don't care about anything else.

It's my fault.

Everything I do, I just disappoint you everytime.

Just give up on me, maybe you already have, I'm not worth it.

You don't realise what you've become.

You're nothing to me now.

I'm disappointed.

You cut me deep.

I'm just too proud to admit that its hurting me.

Fuck it. I just got to do it myself.

I'm sorry everyone.

& there you go

2010-08-05T16:48:00.003+08:00

in your sleep.
& i'm here thinking about we talked the other day.
i don't think you get it do you?
here i am heart, breaking
and there you are.
there you are...
...thats how you give up?

i need some help with this

2010-08-05T16:43:00.002+08:00

my body's breaking down on me, i don’t know how much longer can i take this, my legs grow weary, i can’t support myself. my heart grows weaker and i can feel my strength leave me everytime you run away from me.

i wanted to chase after you, but i just can’t seem to find that strength.

you’ve been running from me for far too long, why can’t you just stay? clear my doubts, clear my mind, tell me what you’re thinking to convince me otherwise.

all that’s left is me and these words that i can say to you.

don't leave me, give me the strength when i need it most, when my stamina's run dry, carry me through, the way that i have carried you.

i love you.

Disappointed

2010-08-03T23:02:00.002+08:00

I ain't gonna coat this in candy shit.

Disappointed.

You know what it means?

Im damn sure you heard it many times from me, but tell me, what did you do to change all this?

I've been coating this in sugar for far too long, running away, not facing the issue from the start.

The way I see it, we don't overcome this, we will. NEVER overcome anything greater than this in our relationship.

If this doesn't tell you what to do, let me tell you straight.

You got to make me not disappointed.

When i tell you something wrong and i ask you to change do you think i've got your best interest at heart?

Did you think how id feel?

Nothing in life comes easy, you got to work hard and keep working to make sure it runs smooth.

If you see me disappointed, it only means I haven't given up hope on you when normal circumstances tell me to give up.

You know why?

I see potential, I see so much of it. You tell me you've done enough.

I tell you you're capable of achieving much more than that.

Make it or break it, there are no second chances in this,

Either you go all the way or you just go home and end of story.

you choose.

If you don't do your best now and you don't want to do your best for me,

i wonder what are you waiting for.

I've done all I can, if you give up,

Then we can all just pack up and go home.

Kao tak suke, Kao boleh balek.

tonight has fallen & i can’t get up

2010-08-03T13:36:00.001+08:00

every night i miss you…

i miss you every time i’m not with you.

it seems every tuesday is the same, though class is different every week, something doesn’t change; i miss you so much. i need you to be here with me.

every breath that i steal from you, every kiss i take from you, it just makes me fall deeper & deeper in love with you.

before i knew it, you have already became a part of me, inseperable.

bat do, you yan ho go lei, o hai oi lei, zi yiu lei.

4 days down.

when what you want coincides with what you already have

2010-07-29T15:36:00.002+08:00

but i don’t know what else to say…

smile like you mean it.

do your best or nothing at all.

take your pick.

another fail attempt?

2010-07-28T00:01:00.001+08:00

Hi russell.

LC just needs you to hug her and TLC her!!!!

She needs you every second!

I love you~ I really love you!

And you this nua pig eveytime say I disgusting!!! I hate you,

You know anot?!?!?!?!?!?!

Angry abit just now!!!!

But at least, I got to know how much you love me!

And I really hate it, when there is not even abit of time, then can let us spend together!!! This is just sux!

That’s why, sometime even I’m very very tired, I still want to meet you, because you miss me as much as I miss you.

And I miss you a lot everyday! And LOVE you every second without doubts and regrets.

I will give what I can, and the abit more to make you feel happy! Because, whenever I see you smile, I will just smile can’t control all!

RUSSELL:

THE MOST AWESOMEST & SWEETEST BOYFRIEND that I can have.

NEVER EVER EVEN THINK OF LETTING ME GO!

LC is here again =)

2010-07-26T16:56:00.000+08:00

hello, my darling!!!!

i am back here, and say

I LOVE YOU LOADs <3

like the octopus said.

HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA =))

THIS IS LC's PROPERTY!!!! DON't TOUCH!!!

2010-07-20T20:36:00.006+08:00

HEY people,
Russell is LC's property!!!!
DON'T TOUCH, unless i give you the permission.

BUT, wait long long uh people!!!!

luk-chung♥

AND

hello, my Russell boy!!

Now i am here, waiting for you to end your training!!!
HAHHHAHAHHA =))
You're just awesome to me ; and you're what i want and need in my life!
Ish like, when i see you, i'll just smile all!

Russell Wong is just irreplaceable in my heart!
AND
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........

ROAR!!!!
,
,,
,,,
,,,,
,,,,,
,,,,,,
,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,

I MISS YOU!
>.<
!
!!
!!!
!!!!
!!!!!
!!!!!!
!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU!

I want to know, what time your training ends!?!?!?!??!

I miss you my boy!

LC ♥ Russell

<3

do you know?

2010-07-20T10:52:00.001+08:00

darling, i don’t ask for much, just like you do, i don’t need to have a drop dead gorgeous girlfriend, she doesn’t have to be the most intelligent being on the planet, she doesn’t have to be rich and all, i don’t need any of that, if its a given, well that would be a plus, but if not I’ll still love her the way she is.

what i need is

she has a mind of her own
she loves me without a shadow of a doubt
she knows what to do for herself
doesn’t take me for granted
needs me
& just care for me

i is sadded much more.

2010-07-20T00:06:00.001+08:00

somehow, i don’t know why i just feel kind of sad, kind of hurt.

darling, you know i love you all, i wouldn’t do something that i know would hurt you, be it my actions or something else.

babe, i love you from the bottom of my heart and i don’t wan to ever see you sadded, when you’re sadded, i feel that way too. you should know, what you think and feel affects the way i feel too. somehow when you’re smiling all i just can’t bear to pull off a sad face or stay mad at you know?

i really love you darling and you mean the world me me.

the past is the past and nothing’s gonna change unless you want it to make a difference. heck, all i’m saying is that i love you so much and i wish you know that you have my heart and don’t keep abusing the love that i have for you, i know you think it’s funny and all but to me it really hurts. can you please stop? can’t you just be nice? please?

the past is the past and i intend it to be as such. i don’t want anything to affect our future and i do hope you’ll leave the past behind just like i have babe, i’m sadded abit. but i really love you dear.

i hope you’ll know what to do, knowing that i love you.

Change

2010-07-15T20:05:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry that I've got to be the one and ask so much from you darling its just that you mean a lot to me darling.

I don't for a moment want you to think otherwise.

All you need to do is to trust in my love for you, without a shadow of a doubt, that its always gonna be there.

All ive got for you is good intentions babe trust me.

I won't ask you to do something that I know ain't good for you know?

I know you're scared of change b, but I don't want you to worry cause I'm gonna be every step of the way here with you.

There's nothing to fear L.

To me you're the last person in the world that I would ever want to see you sad, disappointed, etc.

As long as I love you L I'm not gonna let you have a chance to feel those feelings.

But still what I really need is a chance for me to make things right darling.

I'm selfish, ill admit, I don't care how you treat the world, but you don't let yourself treat me like the world, else I can't promise you what is do.

You know my heart for you, I pray you know what to do.

Ps: I know you like it when I whisper sweet things to your ear, don't I love that too?

migraine

2010-07-15T14:34:00.001+08:00

L babe, you know that i love you.

No matter what happens i still love you.
& i know that I’ll still forgive you for whatever reasons.

you know why?

It’s cause i love you.

It’s just that I’m really tired you know?

It’s just that it seems every time when something like this happens, I’m the one who seems to be trying to make things right.

it’s just that it’s just takes so much energy and effort for me to set things straight.

but you want to know what sucks the most, it’s when you just don’t want to give in.

why do you want to be so stubborn?

you can tell me that it’s just part of your character & all but if i love you and I’m willing to sacrifice all these things for you, put in so much effort to keeping this relationship alive, don’t tell me you can’t do this for me.

if a friend wants you to give him/her a morning call wouldn’t you do that? then inasmuch shouldn’t you do more for the one that you love?

isn’t your boyfriend more than just a friend?

sometimes when i just think of all I’m doing to this relationship and all, I’m wondering what’s the issue?

did i do something wrong by being kind, caring, responsible and loving?

to empathize whatever you’re feeling and putting myself in your shoes, to try my best to make things right cause i know you’re worth it.

don’t tell me I’m not worth as much to you.

i hate it, i totally hate it when i say a whole load of things to you and you just sit there dumbstruck, tight-lipped and just hum some song to yourself while you’re looking at other things other than me when my gaze is affixed on you.

it just makes me seem like an idiot talking to himself.

I’m ashamed to say that i can’t say “you should know better than that” cause i don’t think that you know better than that.

me saying this, i cant express how much it breaks my heart. Can’t you just try to express yourself, say something rather than sit there and do nothing? ask me questions if you don’t know, It’s as if you don’t care.

& by the way, i am waiting for you to talk to me first, just to show you that you hardly ever take the initiative and it is always me, me and me!

I just want to cry and break down right now in financial accounting.

what have i got myself into.

you know I’m that fierce but I’m trying so hard to keep things right, do you know how demanding this is to me? It’s just not fair to me.

can you prove me wrong?

falling deeper.

2010-07-15T10:13:00.001+08:00

“the more time i spend with you,

the more sure i am I'll love you forever.”

babe tell me your doubts, share with me what’s on your mind.

nothing that you say is insignificant to me, cause you’re the most important thing to me.

don’t be shy and not voice out what’s on your mind, it just kind of makes me feel left out.

i know I’ll be there through thick and thin with you so don’t you put me aside and think i won’t understand.

i know won’t understand if you won’t give me the chance.

last night was simply fireworks.

watched the RP SA game then went down with L.

my oh my, she’s a star.

“I'll be missing you as long as I'm love you.”

find your love

all i see is fireworks

2010-07-13T09:18:00.002+08:00

All i see is fireworks
Every night it's fireworks All i see is fireworks
Taking off like fireworks
Taking off like oh-ah-oh-oh.

yesterday was awesome.
nice dinner & chilling at the rooftop.
don't you just love it too? (:

don't be a sha-b

2010-07-12T19:01:00.000+08:00

You silly silly girl,

Don’t you already know how much you mean to me,

For someone you meant the world,

It doesn’t matter whatever anyone else thinks,

I love you.

I don’t want to let you go. You of all should know by now how much you mean to me in my heart.

But a little competition at times I guess it might seem kinda right,

In the sense that you know what you’re holding on to has value.

Girl I love you and I don’t want you to be going round thinking this kind of thoughts of insecurity.

I guess we’re both human and sometimes we’ll feel this way, but I know that though I feel this way sometimes, I know that you won’t go and…; well neither would I go around and mess around when you’re having these kinda thoughts.

You’re just way too precious to me and I don’t want you ever to feel insecure.

My love for you and your love for me is the foundation of our relationship and I trust you more than anything else too.

I do hope that you too trust me more than anything else.

Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise, let yourself not doubt in my love for you.

I love my lc.

>24hours a day please

2010-07-11T22:18:00.002+08:00

if there was one thing i could change about time,
is to increase the duration of time;
to make every moment an eternity.

there's just simply not enough time for you and me.
yesterday was simply awesome.
you're the best i'll ever have & all that i want.
yesterday we lost some things,
but in that we gained something new.
UT, rugby, award, yog, love.
yeap, i think that's enough already.
when you realise that what you really want is all that is beside you all along,
the sooner you realise this,
the happier you'll be.
what you have, no one else will ever have;
what i have, no one else will ever have as well.
i love you LC

fix me in 45

2010-07-11T21:26:00.002+08:00

two day straight,
why must it always be the ladies who are the spoilers?
they tend to complain over the slightest things that they aren't happy with?
well here the irony you see,
they cannot stand to see a couple making out,
but they can read romance novels or don't mind seeing a couple kiss when they get married?
what hypocrites.
the slightest touch on the lips and they show the full resentment on their faces?
what has our socio-culture done to you people.
is this even anything to do with the public anymore,
or does this reflect as a personal lack that you cannot fill with food?
if this is what is meant for you to be Singaporean,
i myself as a Singaporean is chagrined to be a countrymen to you.
talk about the newer generation being the pillars of our future?
don't the old have to accommodate to changing times as well?
we have learnt time and again in history that those who embrace the tides, prosper abundantly,
those who on the other hand; vice-versa.
in life you're given a chance to be remembered or forgotten.
there are many ways to be remembered,
only one way to be forgotten.
don't let your imprudence be the faux pas that you are remembered for.
what you do in life, echoes in eternity.

hey baby, well then maybe.

2010-07-10T16:02:00.001+08:00

what a turn of coincidences,
talk about surprises.
my heart sent racing at a thousand miles an hour.
only you know.
that was crazy.
i love you. ♥

Get your paws off my girl.

2010-07-09T00:03:00.003+08:00

Didnt your mom teach you.
It's not nice to play with other peoples stuff?
So how do you think ill react when you attempt to play with my girlf's heart?
I think you simply don't understand the whole situation here, or are you just plain ignorant?
Wai luk Chung is mine.
She is my girlfriend.
I love her.
You stand NO chance with her as long as I'm alive.
All I'm saying is, don't even try, don't even wait, don't even think, sure you didn't think much that's why you fail and end up in rp.
But something my mom told me before is that when people tell you advice, it is best you listen to it unless you want to look like a fool.
So let me advice you, keep your trap shut, your eyes away, and your hands to yourself.
Before I personally make a trip by the staircase one level down 1 minute away to break your jaw, make those eyes bleed and turn you like one of those you find on the streets.
Don't make me unleash hell on you and make you beg me to stop.
I'll go all the way, I promise you.
Anyway FYI, I beat you hands down.
My gpa's 3.55, in cypher main comm and ive got rugby, I've got heart, I've got passion, hell, I've even got character.
Tell me, what do you've got?
You've got that right teo yen ping,
One wrong move and ill make your life a living hell, trust me.
A final word?
Beatit.

Just act cool, don't worry

2010-07-08T19:36:00.002+08:00

Ut after school.
Silly me I packed my gear though there isn't training today.
I miss my girlf.
Last night at vivo was awesome.
One day she'll know just how much she means to me.
I love the way things are turning out.
Though i admit f.a's a real bitch.
Can't wait to see you girl.
I love you.

more than i can ask for

2010-07-07T15:03:00.002+08:00

that's what you are.
i love you &
there's nothing i would trade for you,
don't be silly babe.
i
love
you.

zzz

2010-07-06T15:04:00.002+08:00

i don't want to ask for more TLC,
can you please just like SPAM TLC??!!!
auto abit leh

time for thought

2010-07-06T12:20:00.002+08:00

been awhile hasn't it.
its barely a day short of 7th july,
time passes so fast doesn't it,
it just seems to have been yesterday that i asked you to be mine.
in this one month alone,
i can't sum up what i feel for you in this past month.
everytime my lips meet yours,
it's like fireworks everytime without fail,
writing the letter right now during break.
work can wait,
i miss you much.
i love you.

i hate being human.

2010-07-01T12:55:00.003+08:00

finally everything's fine.
things were like it used to be,
but something's amiss.
its not that the things don't add up,
i guess its just my gut feeling.
tell me it's wrong.
i miss you so much,
don't you?

hey doc is there a hole in my heart?

2010-07-01T09:32:00.002+08:00

woke up in the morning,
cabbed to school.
my head's buzzing and my body's numb.
one thing's for sure,
my heart hurts like hell.
i don't know why i'm feeling like this.
i don't have the feel to do anything & UT's are coming up next week.
i just need to be sure.

Officially missing you

2010-07-01T04:20:00.002+08:00

It's 3 in the morning.
I'm sitting outside one fullerton.
Can't think of anything rather than tonight was somewhere I'd rather just have spent at home in bed sleeping.
Schools starting in a few hours.
I'm headed back to sams place to sleep.
Went to dance abit here and there.
Was boring, didn't drink anything and I didnt feel like anything tonight.
Despite everything, I miss you so much the whole night.
There's nothing id rather have done than to have spent time with you.

why does something so easy come so hard?

2010-06-30T15:15:00.006+08:00

~~i'm possessive & sensitive?~~
~~how is that even right?~~
i care & love you with good intentions.
when you ran a fever at sentosa did you know how i felt?
when i saw your face yesterday after training did you know how i feel?
am i putting in too much effort?
it's like sometimes, its just not worth it...
not like its not worth loving you,
but you make me feel like i love you without getting anything in return.
for being a caring & loving boyfriend,
you get misery from your peers,
& i just get all these backtalk.
is it fair?
i'm hanging by a thread that you're holding onto.
anyway i'm just saying too much, thinking too much,
i'm just tired,
forget i said anything.
i'm sorry, i love you & if anything else, my thought's immature.
sorry for all the trouble & all implications caused.
& cass, i'm sorry, forgive me.

the room outside my house is filled with good intentions

2010-06-28T17:29:00.003+08:00

things have been good,
today's my 3rd week with LC.
what more can i possibly ask for,
from a girl like this.
she play's hard to get though i admit it is VERY fail,
totally doesn't work.
i advise her not to do that,
no use one,
i know that she want's it more than me.
though that would be quite alot already.
i love her to the ends of the earth & i can't imagine myself with anyone else other than her.
she so kewt, beautiful, sweet, caring and kind all rolled in one.
i wonder why she keeps saying herself otherwise,
i suppose that its just the peer's around her evaluate her based on themselves and the perceived standards that they have of themselves, which in the end of the day make her evaluated low.
she is uncomparable, unparalled and unequally loved by any other mark of comparison.
no amount of words can say how much i love her & i will tirelessly try my best to summarise all my feelings into words so that she might know the shape of my heart even more.
she's the best thing that i never knew i needed.
happy belated birthday babe & i love our 3rd week together.
i look forward to next week too.
ps. i love you includes the humsup part of you, even though that is quite alot. but you know you can always go down on me, you only scare me if you're scared to try...

let me love you

2010-06-22T09:40:00.002+08:00

Don't get too possessive with someone u don’t even own. It's a side- effect of loving too much & receiving too little. #TLS
i love you, love you too much,
but i know i'll get that much back in return,

love?
it's a choice that you make.
i know that i can't control things outside of me,
i can't will it not to rain,
but i can shower all my love on you.
that's a personal choice that i make.
i really love you,
last night was awesome,
headed to JP to have ramen then a walk in the park?
headed home and got the project done.
real tired,
but i'm satisfied,
another long day in school today,
training on tonight,
i can't wait to see your face...

Endless thoughts

2010-06-18T00:59:00.004+08:00

Lying in bed.
It feels so good,
Your smell somehow still lingers..
I know I'm silly but if only you could see into me, how I feel and what I'm thinking, perhaps you might know better?
Right now the feeling is, total crap.
I feel bad right now, I don't know what to say.
Didn't get to play today even though I wanted to so bad &
I'm just thinking I didn't get a chance to get things right with you.
My hearts in a mess and my minds in a whirl and its to say this but it just hurts so bad.
You told me you'd call back, so I waited...
Then you went to bed.
I'm trying so much to make things go right where I can make a difference,
But everything I'm trying just doesn't seem to cut it.
I need to know more...
Damn me, I should be sleeping already.
& it was like ily didn't matter to you.
Stop me, tell me what I'm thinking is wrong...

fool

2010-06-17T23:49:00.001+08:00

I know that I'm not very sensitive sometimes, hate that.
But it hurts the most is when that weakness makes you mad.
I don't know what to do to make things better but believe me, I'm trying b.
I can't do this alone, I need your help.
I'm not good at words when it comes to this.
Tell me what to say, so you believe me...
You know my heart ain't made of stone.

in a relationship;

2010-06-16T22:54:00.002+08:00

what more could i possibly ask for?
my girlf beside me,
wonderful dinner,
pretty good day too.
i won't say everything's perfect.
but i'd say you are.
to me at least.
your lips send my heart beating harder than when the adrenaline's pumping on the pitch,
don't ask me why,
but it just seem's intoxicating everything they touch.
it doesn't matter what the world says;
this time i know in my hearts what's right.
what's feeling so right can't go wrong.
i know that i love you,
you mean the world to me lc.
now and forever..

killing time

2010-06-14T19:54:00.004+08:00

the irony in the sense that you can't kill time as per se,
time is something that passes whether you like it or not.
i've been on the computer for hours already.
so tired...
finally got the pictures for botanics already.
ain't it just beautiful?
oh cmon, can't you just end training already?
cmon mona lisa, you know you can't roll without caesar.
ps: i miss you.

bittersweet?

2010-06-14T12:34:00.004+08:00

both happy and sad: causing feelings of happiness and sadness at the same time
why do i feel that way right now?
i thinking too much for my own good.
my time should be spent elsewhere.
i don't have to read anyone's mind,
just yours & i would be content already.
something so easy comes so hard.
i hope you'd let me into your mind,
cause to be honest,
though you tell me what you're thinking,
i want to know more,
so much more,
things left unsaid that i just want to know.
i don't get it,
but it hurts me inside somehow...
time we spent was too short,
there's so much that i want to do,
but time comes at an expense.
let time speak for itself.
but as just as it is,
it's just not fair for me.
i want more time....
back to work in this unnerving silence.

simple things really.

2010-06-13T22:08:00.002+08:00

oh i can't forget,
when my ___ meets yours,
it's like fireworks.
you're the best i've could have wished for.

tell me what to say, so you believe me.

2010-06-13T21:52:00.002+08:00

past few day's been great.
i'm falling even more in love with you,
letting go of all i've held onto,
i'm standing here until you make me move,
hanging by a moment here with you,
if you know how much i treasure you,
do i know how much you treasure me?
you know how much i love you,
do i know how much you love me?
i think that there's just so much questions &
i just suppose time will tell.
yesterday botanics would be a night to remember & all.
i wished i could see just a silver of much i mean to you.

hehehehehehehe whatcha say

2010-06-09T00:06:00.001+08:00

What a perfect Tuesday.
Stayed home today to take care of dad.
Missed sticky much.
Went gym with jacky.
I'm so going src tomorrow.
Had dinner with sticky& jacky @ botak Jones.
Headed down to ps to check out stickys next phone.
Impromptu movie with sticky.
Prince of Persia was awesome.
Destiny?
What's meant to be will be.
What's meant to happen will happen.
I know how things are meant to be.
Simply just you and me.
I promise you that much.
We went there just in time and got the best seats in the house too.
I love my sticky.
I'm gonna miss sticky should we not meet tomorrow.
But then thurs, Fri & sat are gonna make up for it I swear.
Let it be perfect,
You're the best of me babe.
I don't want to lose you, ever.

你的爱,是我的一切

2010-06-06T13:33:00.002+08:00

i can't believe i'm so nice,
i translated the urdu alpha into chinese for you,
so now you know.
i love time because i know time will tell
& i know what i'm feeling that's so right,
it can't be wrong.
... you're the best thing i never knew i needed.
dinner's gonna be awesome.
actually you already mentioned where we're gonna have it at,
just that you don't know :P

do i want to let you know?

2010-06-04T13:33:00.004+08:00

i've been thinking lots this hol
not work related though.
but everytime i think,
it just brings me think...

some things uncertain but definitely not how i feel.
for this,
only time will tell this uncertainty.
tu amor es todo para mí.

& there came june.

2010-06-01T11:44:00.002+08:00

how time flies,
so much has happened in what seems to be so little time.
there are so many things to give thanks for,
so many things i treasure.
but then again,
there are lessons that i've learnt by hard & they weren't pleasant at all.
then again,
i'm not getting any younger,
i think i should focus on what i want for real.
& all that i was after was a life full a laughter,
as long as i'm laughing with you.
this friday ♥

& there goes the big bang.

2010-05-27T10:57:00.002+08:00

was a good day,
went to SRC played prop,
made a good run and busted my knee real bad.
waste my time,
the forwards there are pathetic.
cant save a life.
i ran hard and it got wasted in the end.
all this time i think to myself were they worth it.
at the end of the day i'm still playing for my RP squad.
i'd give it up for them, not a bunch of wussies.
so theres it,
knee bruised and busted. out for 2 weeks.
what a way to usher in the holidays?
i think to myself do you want to go out with me?
i'm afraid to ask.

& it came on me like a waterfall.

2010-05-08T21:06:00.003+08:00

one long week,
looking forward to friday;
the start of the weekends.
friday:
cut hair & ton @ parklane.
it was pretty good fun spending a night with them
but something i just cannot forget;
when i saw you earlier that day,
something about you revived in me,
something i was so desperate in letting go,
set ablaze my heart once again.
i don't want to lose you so.

p.s seeing your specs on my table brings back one beautiful memory.

i think i'm fine just the way i am.

2010-04-27T14:45:00.001+08:00

think before you make up your mind,
you don't seem to realise...

woke up in the morning to an overcast sky.
right check bruised from training.
left ear crushed in rucks.
had a not-so-pleasant sleep.

you asked me whose specs those were.
isn't it obvious?
answered your question (:

learnt by hard,
what happens in the club,
stays in the club.
i promise i'll keep it that way.

despite all that's happened.
your specs remind me that the past is real.
a past that i'll cherish.

& that's just part of life

2010-04-19T23:30:00.002+08:00

school's been alright.
it's not the place;
the people define the place.
i think those around those define me.
cypher, rugby, rugby, rugby.
training's taking a whole load of stress off me.
i love them.
love gives strength.
strength gives rise to passion.
passion is what keeps me running.
so many thing's i'm trying for.
barely made it into rugby's first team,
i want cypher to work too.
& i want you.
with you i know it's not the same,
the feeling's just different.
you mean alot to me,
&
i'm scared of what could possibly happen.
i've never tried this before,
but what i commit i do my best.
i'm sorry,
i wish you'd know who you are to me despite what you think.
i can only leave you this way because i can't let you know the way i feel.
i don't want to let you go.

birds of a feather flock together.

2010-04-11T00:40:00.002+08:00

i dare you to lift yourself off from the floor
the way i see things, it's pretty clear.
as my title implied,
birds of a feather indeed flock together.
i think that there are instances in life when things aren't meant to be.
even how hard you try to get there.
it is just not going to happen.
i believe God has a plan for me and what is not meant to be never will be.
you were always a priority to me & i was just the option.
these few days in camp let me have time to think alot of things.
partial reason being that i was thinking real hard of the things going on and making sure no loose ends.
it's obvious the way some people just click together.
more importantly; it is people of the same calibre.
like the eagle and the chicken story:
http://www.midnightangel308.com/chicken_the.htm
...The moral of the story: You become what you believe you are;
so if you ever dream to become an eagle follow your dreams, not the words of a chicken.
& that just let me realise what am i doing right now?
am i trying to be like the people i didn't care two hoots about in the past?
the last time i checked i was still by far a league above them.
im the temperature, they are just the thermostat.
i'm wondering why did i think of trying to blend in.
seriously,
alvin: "no meaning arh, no meaning."
things that are meant to be happen; be together or work out,
will just happen.
the results show us the difference in our level,
the level of our perception.
i will be that the change.

wheeoohwhee

2010-03-29T00:37:00.001+08:00

many things to occupy myself with,
training,
birthday & butterfact.
but many of a times i find myself dazing out,
& then i think of you. haha.
the irony.
i miss you much.
dry-run in the morning tml.
time to get going.

long time wishing.

2010-03-24T23:57:00.002+08:00

from then till now,
it has been quite awhile.
chilling with bobby,
rugby, gym, rugby, gym.
cypher meetings all.
zj going taiwan.
got dinner for mr sumantri.
getting old already and leg spoil already.
i still got you, no worries.
but those that without a doubt i love, my team, bobby, rad & siri too.
they are of significance to me.
words and feelings may dull after time.
but actions done will echo throughout eternity.

untitled

2010-03-16T12:03:00.002+08:00

& i just thought that you should know that i've been holding on while you've been letting go.
many things happened recently,
cypher leader retreat,
rugby,
outings,
rugby,
in LT-E5 right now.
tired & burnt out already.
there's things happening around me,
but somehow i don't feel it really affecting me.
maybe i'm just drifting around.
i don't know what i should be doing,
seeing you everytime burns me deep down inside.
i know why i cried that time.
i know i would have made the difference,
but i didn't have the chance.
opportunities are what i make of it.
what do i want now.

long days.

2010-03-06T01:13:00.002+08:00

didn't have the energy to give a post after ubin camp.
4d3n camp in ubin.
shack ttm!
am i glad to be in my own room.
last night was pretty sweet.
Z really surprised me last night.
damn, was it sweet. ^^
met kb in the morn,
went forums for macs,
memories of childhood came back.
am i loved or am i loved?
today we went out to botanics.
sorry it was so hot! my bad ):
i thought'd it be a nice change of pace for you from everyday life.
since you're so burnt out and all,
thought you would find some rest there,
then we went to soupspoon ion & had a good lunch.
went to taka & she got a cute bottle HAHA.
she really cute..
when she left & i went for weihengs' birthday,
for the first time in a very long time,
i really felt something missing.
i pray this's something good.
i had an awesome time with you,
the location didn't really matter.
but it had you.
that's all that mattered.
am i a fool to think this?
tell me otherwise Z.
i have faith.
lights out.

40 websites

2010-02-24T00:47:00.001+08:00

Facebook: Someone you kiiiiinda remember who, if you ignore them, will turn out to be a headhunter (the good kind) and if you accept, will turn out to be a headhunter (the bad kind).
YouTube: An advanced AI that has nearly mastered swearing and is ready to move on to the rest of human language.
Wikipedia: People screwing with Wikipedia.
Pandora: People who left their iPods at home.
UPS: People getting increasingly excited around midday.
Craigslist: Your girlfriend.
Amazon: People buying books.
Barnesandnoble.com: Barnes & Noble employees.
Chatroulette: Guys with their dicks out.
Pornotube: Guys with their dicks out.
eBay: Guys with their dicks out reflected in a teapot.
GameSpot: Noobs who can only handle BioShock, Dragon Age, and Dante’s Inferno.
Yahoo Games: Hardcore gamers who can plunge into the depths of Harry Potter Years 1-4.
AOL home page: People who don’t get how the web works.
Google home page: People who don’t get how the search bar works.
Digg home page: People who don’t get “work.”
Reddit: People who think Diggers are dumb.
Metafilter: People who think Redditors are dumb.
Slashdot: People who think people are dumb.
WordPress: Bloggers who’d rather be coding.
Tumblr: Bloggers who’d rather be reading.
Blogger: Bloggers who’d rather be on WordPress. How the hell do you export from this thing?
Livejournal: Bloggers who’d rather be dead! Then you’d finally pay them some attention! Well maybe that’s just what they’ll do, Mom!
Xanga: The 90s.
Club Penguin: The two’s -to-thirteen’s.
CNN: People who think they’re reading the news.
Fark: People who laugh at the word “news.”
Go.com: Unimaginative people testing a computer at a store.
Ripoffreport: Ripoff victims.
BestBuy.com: Ripoff victims.
Scientology.org: Ripoff victims.
Bit.ly: People heading somewhere else.
Gawker: Subjects of Gawker articles.
IRS.gov: People who are way too on the ball.
4chan: Kids pretending to be hackers, hackers pretending to be kids, reporters pretending to be kids pretending to be hackers, child predators, child-predator predators, Han Solo.
eHarmony: 97% of desperate singles.
Loopt: 3% of desperate singles.
AdultFriendFinder: People who will claim tomorrow that they were on eHarmony.
Evite: People who still refuse to get on Facebook.
Friendster: Jonathan Abrams, sitting in a quiet room that no one has entered in weeks. He needs a bath.

baptism by fire.

2010-02-22T11:11:00.003+08:00

slept for 2 hours,
mom made me go for uncle eddie's funeral.
i know he was a good man;
that much i know.
i felt no pain.
he has went home yes?
what broken ties i have,
it's already been 8 years since i last met/talked/spoke/heard him.
his face was the last thing that i vaguely remembered.
there is so much that i feel has been missing i suppose.
my father's lineage and heritage is a big blank in my memory.
i don't know know what to expect.
i heard from mom yesterday as she told me what she knew for the many years she's been with him.
not a very beautiful picture.
grandma is the second wife of my granddad,
granddad was a famous architect,
went bankrupt & there problems surfaced,
he then later passed on,
issues came and went,
first-wife of my granddad had two daughters and a son.
both daughters became spinsters.
the son,
the one i just attended the crematorium today.
my mom recounts that he was a good lad,
though his years were shortlived.
i believe a life of quality beats one of quantity for sure.
grandma's surname was siu,
in cantonese,
my mom believes it is to burn.
burn ties, burn relationships, bridges.
grandma believes that it is a curse; a generation curse at that.
& my mom's family side is the direct opposite of that of my dad's side.
is there any significance to this?
i believe so.
i am that gap.
i end this generation curse as my Lord has ordained,
it ends now with me,
to whom much has been given,
much is expected.
i know what is not meant to be done and i will not be foolish.
my mom deserves the best for herself.
she sacrifice her youth,
the best of her life,
her future,
her ♥
for me.
her highest level of education "A" levels from ACJC
20 years ago.
it background from 20 years ago, which is already obsolete.
truly, she deserves so much better.
she has given me this much.
the turn for my sacrifice is just about to begin.
it's time to push the limits,
break the barriers,
achieve all that i can,
shoot for the clouds,
if i miss i end up in the stars,
no lower than that.
room for failure is 0%.
my mom told me,
"be that all you can be"
i believe the best is yet to be.
i've grown old enough to make the choice for myself.
her source of strength for the most gruelling 20 years of her life was my Jesus, my Lord, my God.
with this, let my strength be that strength that she drew from and eventually, let my strength be her strength.
first team rugby, cypher president, scholar and club player is what i can offer onto.
great tests,
but only withstand this trials will i be baptised by fire; baptême du feu
God give me strength just as you given onto david who slain goliath and Samson with his might and wisdom as you given to solomon as well as the wealth that is encompassed with that wisdom.
& let love take care of itself.

this path i'll make.

2010-02-17T21:21:00.002+08:00

yesterday a long hectic but fun day i s'pose.
woke up 9 in the morning,
gym, swim, left for sengkang.
reached sengkang met cypher + alumni.
melvin:" russell when you gg to be president"?
HAHAHA...
then i thought
daryl:" be yourself..."
i make my own path.
there's much to give thanks for.
many things i ♥
other things i hate.
small is singapore.
bumped into sherms too ytd..
HAHA.
dao me after though
bainian @ julia's house & went to hougang.
had lunch with yx.
27 to airport
yakun toast and then bid farewell to janelle.
today.
went meet charis then pick up bobby lil' "surprise". fail x1000000
went popeyes, bobby's treat.
homed
gym, swim.
sleeping soon.
& here i am thinking of you again.
i hope there's training tomorrow. (:
♥

Phiten Rakuwa X50 Hi End Necklace

2010-02-16T11:00:00.001+08:00

i've got a brand new Rakuwa X50 Hi End Necklace, received it for my birthday and another for my valentines (by my mom -.-) don't need both since i've already got an X30 that has been with me forever, can't bear to part with it.

images of the one's i'm selling:

what this necklace does:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHRkg1VS75A

recommended for canoe or dragon-boaters / any other sportsman.

helps greatly in recovery after sports / fatigue.

outside price: $98++

selling price: $85 (negotiable)

PM me for more details. Do leave me your offer as well as contact.

the take over, the break's over.

2010-02-15T00:57:00.001+08:00

schools' out once again.
2 months.
time to set things straight i suppose.
got $40 in ballack.
CNY like the norm.,
people say nice things to get angbaos,
whatever..
v'day with my family.. HAHA
perhaps i just miss some things in life.
there was only one really, really,
endearing thing to me in w46d,
maybe it was just a chance that..
yeah i'm being silly.
there's no turning back.
ima hit the sack.
but...
you never tried, how would you know?

cookies & cream

2010-02-11T18:26:00.000+08:00

i think i should swim more often.
let me cool myself down.
think less.
cookies & cream. ♥

was i just living in the past.

2010-02-11T16:59:00.002+08:00

i'm doing everything i can do.
what for?
if i've to make you say something you don't want,
what's the difference between choice or control?
i'd thought of what you'd think.
did you ever think of what i'm thinking?
why did i even care?
"like weird like that..."
that's all you can say?

天真

2010-02-10T15:58:00.002+08:00

i think differently perhaps,
life's about choices,
choices you make,
choices you become.
what doesn't make you better,
brings you down,
hinders you.
there are so many things in life that are just.
fake. superficial.
whatever.
i can't care less.
i myself, i ain't gonna be that way.
it's my own choice.
i can't change the world.
but i can change the way i am.
people who are naive are people who are real.
people who are real are people who are susceptible to being hurt.
being hurt means you're human.
are you human?

reprieve

2010-02-08T23:23:00.002+08:00

is this why we're human?
we take things that were always with us for granted.
familiarity is a dangerous thing.
you just end up getting used to things and get acquainted with it?
just cause i'm here for you,
it doesn't mean i'll be here forever.
one day if you don't pick up the phone,
i'm just gonna stop calling altogether.
is it wrong to be too nice?
is being nice even wrong in the first place?
what's wrong with doing what's right?
i'm sorry i'm just born this way i suppose.
is it that hard to be true to yourself?

all i need is your hand.

2010-02-08T19:24:00.002+08:00

I will lend you my ears to listen to you,
I will talk to you when you need me,
I will love you better then a lover could,
I will help you in any circumstances even if i fail,
i will sacrifice myself even if i have to go through the pit of fire,
But please don't give up on yourself and shut the doors.
I will always be at the doorsteps knocking on your door till you open up.

ohhh~mmm....

2010-02-08T18:36:00.001+08:00

if only words can describe how much i think you mean to me.
you're special.
i wonder how much you know that.

if i wrapped my words around you.

2010-02-06T23:41:00.002+08:00

Is it fair to write a song to a woman
Is it fair play to try to win her heart
Is it right to bring her sonnets in the morning-time
To express the first few longings when they start
To express the first few longings when they start
Is it love to let her feeling rise to catch you
Is it ok when her heart begins to fall
Would you blame me if I wrap my words around you girl
Would I wrong you to say anything at all
Would I wrong you to say anything at all

But if I wrap my words around you
Wrap my words around you
If i wrap my words around you
Would you stay, would you stay, would you
Wrap my words around you
Wrap my words around you
If i wrap my words around you
Would you stay, would it play with your heart

this song just get stuck in my head again.
somehow i think you were just too honest perhaps?
i know people who are too nice just get makan by the not so nice people.
is it fair for those who are nice,
to be not nice because of this being said?
certainly i say no.
never let go,
you know your worth.
if you just knew what i'd mean.
i can only hope that you will know somehow.
i'd dare you to find someone who knows me enough
& say that i'm superficial.
do you trust me?
you're awesome the way you are.
don't you dare compromise that.
i wish that there was more time...
chances, choices, chances, choices.

as the curtains fall...

2010-02-05T19:53:00.001+08:00

as this semester draws to a close yet again,
there's something i'm feeling.
a feeling like even though,
we move on in life,
i'm leaving something behind.
something important.
was i true to myself from the start?
did i know what i really want?
was it all a lie that would lead me back to the inconvenient truth?
i think honestly,
only time will tell.
perhaps i was just scared to face you all along.
you are different i swear.
but not like my word means much to you.
i pray you'd trust me.
you are special.
perhaps.
perhaps.
perhaps.

orchid country club, alone. ♥

2010-02-03T21:40:00.003+08:00

i feel so damn sleepy right now.
but i'm just thinking,
what if all along,
i'd just been running in circles,
running away from facts i'd dare not face?
from something that i was scared to fail?
perhaps it was right next to me all along?
i'm just lost all along i suppose.
what was i thinking.
HAHAHA

let me love you?

2010-02-03T20:07:00.000+08:00

Baby I just don't get it
Do you enjoy being hurt?
I know you smelled the perfume, the make-up on his shirt
You don't believe his stories
You know that they're all lies
Bad as you are, you stick around and I just don't know why

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night, doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

[Chorus:]

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

[Verse 2:]

Listen
Your true beauty's description looks so good that it hurts
You're a dime plus ninety-nine and it's a shame
Don't even know what you're worth
Everywhere you go they stop and stare
Cause you're bad and it shows
From your head to your toes, Out of control, baby you know

If I was ya man (baby you)
Never worry bout (what I do)
I'd be coming home (back to you)
Every night doin' you right
You're the type of woman (deserves good thangs)
Fistful of diamonds (hand full of rings)
Baby you're a star (I just want to show you, you are)

[Chorus:]

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Ooh Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me....

[Bridge:]

You deserve better girl (you know you deserve better)
We should be together girl (baby)
With me and you it's whatever girl, hey!
So can we make this thing ours?

[Chorus:]

You should let me love you
Let me be the one to give you everything you want and need
Baby good love and protection
Make me your selection
Show you the way love's supposed to be
Baby you should let me love you, love you, love you

[repeat til it ends (about 3 times)]

[Mario (talking):]
Let me love you that's all you need baby

perhaps you make that difference?

2010-02-03T11:46:00.001+08:00

i don't know what to think.

summarized?

2010-02-03T10:37:00.001+08:00

a blog is like a representation of a heart.
what is written on the blog is like what my heart feels.
what my heart feels boils down to 3 simple words.
i (heart) you...

you say hello,

2010-02-03T09:24:00.003+08:00

inside i'm screaming i love you
i don't know what i'm thinking,
i don't know what to think.
the only thing running through my mind is mixtape.
you make me feel that way.
do you know?
if its me you're talking about,
i'll be there no matter what happens.
all i need is a chance to prove myself.
if you let me show you my heart.

prove?

2010-02-03T00:31:00.004+08:00

everything's settled already.
i read too much into alot of things.
i'm gg to make this work.

fyi.
JAZREEL IS F****** ~~FAIL~~

AWESOME

it doesn't matter does it?

2010-02-02T23:15:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry i'm not good enough
all i did,
it just wasn't worth it.
it was as if it didn't even matter in the first place.
the team meant everything to me,
but did i mean anything to the team?
i'm trying my best to be the best.
but i'm sorry my best will never be enough.
i fucking want to smash the shit out of people.
do you ever give me a chance to prove myself for real?
it's been a season already.
i know i can do so much better than this.
i need to know what i am.
i want in on this.
i fucking want to win pol/ite this year.
say me whatever you want.
but don't you ever fucking say i never gave my best.
the only thing i can promise you is that i will give my best.

do you ever?

2010-02-01T08:21:00.002+08:00

if there was ever a small chance; a sliver of hope.
if you ever felt that way the way that i feel for you,
you're thinking all,
what if i'm one of those guys who disappointed you in the past,
there's so much doubt i admit.
but if you did believe,
there is hope.
pray.
pray that i am all that you want me to be.
have faith in what you pray,
cause i know that i'll come true for sure.
i believe i am strong enough.
i don't dare ask no more,
but if its going to come true,
it will.
i have faith.

going overseas, please declare

2010-02-01T00:06:00.002+08:00

awesome yeah,
done bobby's let me love you into so sick.
tried one of my own,
do you remember-->tik tok-->sexy bitch-->whatcha say.
your heart beats with the music.
damn its nice.
i'm gg to take up mixing i suppose.
r&b my <3 HAHAHA.
bobby stayed over,
went 3rd service.
chillaxed at src,
home.
i just have the urge to go thailand with friends.
HAHAHA.
damn.
3d2n,
meet me at the hotel room~~~
gym, src, rugby.
ut3 damnit.
interview on later.
so much to look forward to,
but what about you?
are you included?

retard(s)

2010-01-31T02:29:00.003+08:00

the retard has finally fallen asleep.
he came over cause he left his laptop charger at sch.
he couldnt sleep,
no com at home,
cabbed over.
gg service on later.
(see tml not gg svc :/)
i feel happy perhaps?
idk HAHA.
what's meant to happen in life's just gonna happen?
coincidence?
i don't think so.
when you close your eyes,
what do you see? (:
i think...

loves cookies and cream

2010-01-30T18:57:00.000+08:00

cookies and cream just own.
it's like having a dessert right after gym.
my ligaments healing up pretty well.
monday after the interview,
hopefully i can head down to src.
i suppose getting myself tired let me think less?
if i could turn back time...
all i wanted was a chance,
a shot at romance.
(:

mixtape

2010-01-30T16:35:00.002+08:00

You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know

But you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you

You talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
You talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
I talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel
You don't know

i think about the past,
what has happened and all.
is this truly what it was meant to be?
what am i to do?
did you even think of how i'd feel?

random?

2010-01-29T22:52:00.000+08:00

lying in my bed.
lappy on my pillow,
bed lamp on.
makes me think of something.
was it your smile perhaps?

for ur love...

2010-01-29T21:55:00.001+08:00

i'll wait for you.
chris brown is getting into my head.
my ligament is nearly 100%
i pray tomo it's 100%
lots of things to do tomo,
gym, run, swim.
one free saturday for myself.
something i haven't had in forever.
daaaaaang

& did you know?

2010-01-29T15:40:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to say,
you know your worth.
don't you forget.
nothing fits you better than your beautiful smile.
i'm sorry i've lost my temper.
not at you, never at you.

rested

2010-01-29T06:42:00.000+08:00

slept from 7pm-6.30am,
feel so rested,
so much energy,
even my ligament feels better.
i'm definitely gg to go gym or running tonight.
too much energy already.

am i bringing this onto myself?

2010-01-28T10:06:00.002+08:00

again i find myself at where i've started.
lacking the luster of strength,
so many choices,
but what is that i want?
i'm lost.
good gpa's, student committee, rugby, perhaps a scholarship?
so many choices,
am i doing what i want or am i doing what i'm supposed to do.
when was the last time i thought of what i wanted.
i s'pose i was just going with the flow.
i'm caught at this crossroads once again...
my heart's in a mess too.

no fair

2010-01-27T18:02:00.002+08:00

just when i want to fight so bad.
life's got to fuck you up.
right ligament abit the fucked up.
can't walk properly.
running is out of the question.
i'm going to treasure every moment of running after it's healed.
run till my lungs give out.

rose ice cream

2010-01-26T23:35:00.003+08:00

alright alright
i'm going to run harder than ever
push the limits i've defined myself.
threat?
hell yeah.
burn?
if i can't be strongest,
i will be hardest, fastest, fittest & run like kambing.
i'ma be all over the place.
satifactionnn-nn-nnnn-satisfaction.
nothing makes my heart beat harder than vengeance.
& to exact that same vengeance on whoever's in my way.

perseverance

2010-01-26T22:44:00.002+08:00

great atheletes are born not made?
i'm going to prove them wrong.
i'm going to put in my 10,000 hours of effort.
i will exceed, i will not disappoint.
i'm going to prove you my worth just you wait.
mon, tue, wed, thu - rugby
fri - gym.
i won't give up unless something gives way.
i found my reason to fight.
sorry i don't think you were it after all.

我可以痛了再痛你可以错了再错

2010-01-25T15:11:00.002+08:00

am i holding onto a rope that you didn't hold onto to?
was i even holding onto a rope that wasn't there in the first place?
i don't think that i'd ask for so much.
but i think that i've done my part to the best i can.
all i've done just brings me pain and more pain.
if a small mistake like that could make you reject me this bad?
what about the future.
don't even talk about it yet?
friends?
if you don't trust me.
then its useless right?
no meaning.
no meaning.

i deserve better?

2010-01-25T00:11:00.001+08:00

Bobby: seriously honestly
Bobby: i think you deserve better

they say i'm a fool,
they say i'm too nice,
i'm naive,
i'm still young,
i don't know.
but is this something wrong?
isn't this what a man's got to be?
i'm being portrayed as the wrong kind of guy for all the right reasons.
you decide.

错了再错

2010-01-24T22:53:00.000+08:00

Retreat till the edge, and retreat some more.
so broken that it cannot be broken any further.
What can be redeemed?
You simply refuse to say.
I could only guess, but my guesses were all wrong.
Tears irrigated this sorrow, hopelessness is the comfort that you bequeathed on me.
Why am I being punished for your lies?You may as well simply pierce me with a knife.
I can suffer pain again and again, while you can do wrong repeatedly.
I am not happy, but I don't shirk away - all for the promise that has lost its truth
I look to one side and let you live, yet you intentionally test the limits of my generosity.
Why must you disclose even the white lies?

tell me, do you really know?

2010-01-23T22:51:00.003+08:00

trust.
does it equate to faith?
if trust does equate to faith then it would mean that trust;
is the expectation of things hoped for.
then in that light,
i pray that you trust me.
do you really think that i have malice on my mind?
if you just knew the feelings that i have for you,
never have i felt so strongly for anyone in my life.
why would i ever want you to ever see heartbreak?
you know i only want to see you smile.
to be the happiest girl, ever.
at least that much,
i will try my best.
but never,
never i my right mind do i want to see you hurt.
it hurts me as hell to see you that way.
if you trust me,
simply believe that my heart for you will not change.
if this mistake had affected you so much,
i will discipline myself to steer clear from letting something like that happen again.
i pray you don't play with this trust.
trust is the basis of a relationships.
even mutual friends require a level of trust.

i promise to try my best to set things straight.
i'm sorry,

cross my heart

2010-01-22T23:41:00.002+08:00

i swear that it's not what i wanted.
girl trust me.
tell me what you're thinking,
let me explain if there's anything to it.
i'm so fucking sorry.
don't make me please..

i wonder?

2010-01-22T15:01:00.002+08:00

i wonder what i was thinking.
what am i feeling right now?
i think, i don't think.
what is that that i really want,
i hope you know what i mean.

4th/5th?

2010-01-22T00:06:00.001+08:00

today was pretty fun touch all.
got things straightened out,
everyone has their issues.
but at least i know the team's real.
same old same old.
am i supposed to relish what i'm thinking right now?
what do i feel?

mmhmmmm

2010-01-21T15:40:00.001+08:00

cause i hope you know how special you are.
i think that given a chance you won't be the one falling short.
trust takes time.
time takes endurance.
for you i'd endure.

arrogance?

2010-01-20T23:01:00.001+08:00

haha, i know i am but for adequate reason.
rugby tomorrow yes?
haro harrro its time to explode.
i will fight for what i know is mine.

you don't, don't know you're a legend

2010-01-20T08:30:00.002+08:00

i've got to to finish this fight.
i pray i got the inspiration to.
i know that i won't fight alone,
but my heart just ain't set right.

please tell me what you want.
Cause i'm feeling this ain't going nowhere.
friends/not friends
talk or not to.
if you love him,
tell me,
i'd let you go.

我犯的罪

2010-01-19T08:29:00.002+08:00

我真的以为。
i'm a fool i don't deny.
i do what i do,
pray for the best,
go for it.
today's training at least to get myself free.
when your perfect pretty world comes burning down.

last night

2010-01-17T07:37:00.003+08:00

arrow,
dinner with yx & co.
went look up siew,
daybreakers.
cab to timah.
poolside.
looking up the stars next to the pool on the sunchair,
i thought of something.
fell asleep,
woke up still thinking of that same thing.
ate meepok,
went home.
i really miss some things badly.
pray tell me we'll carry on.

let it burn, let it burn?

2010-01-15T19:33:00.001+08:00

it's gonna burn for me to say this,
but it's coming from my heart...
pray tell me what you're thinking.
what was i?
did you even think of me?
you were a priority, was i and option.
if you were to do anything,
least answer me this.